youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
It's Friday. Sex?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
