so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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