hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are your genitals available?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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