i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
