i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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