we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
