he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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