so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
