it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
