But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
