there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
