Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
