I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dear god my vagina.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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