I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
