hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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