Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Randomize