I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize