That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
