well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
