you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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