Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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