Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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