I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
