he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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