Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
