all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Damn victory sex feels great
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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