found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
