How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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