omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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