watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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