No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize