You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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