I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
