ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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