OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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