yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
