oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
