Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
