Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
