it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
