Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
