your thong is hanging out like whoa
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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