I want to have your abortion
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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