I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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