i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
