So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
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He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
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The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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