What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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