Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
