Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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