we're chasing vodka with high fives
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
