i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
