from now on my penis is your penis
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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