i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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