Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
