New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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