I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize