and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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