Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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